Well douche your snatch and let's go!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
