i don't plan on having that self control this summer
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
