im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
