All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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