I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's official drugs can't kill me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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