a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
