I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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