I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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