So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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