That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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