we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
