he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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