Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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