and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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