Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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