I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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