Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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