just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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