For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
