Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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