I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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