My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
