Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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