yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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