Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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