Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
