I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
