so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just threw up on my dentist
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want nice things and good sex
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
