How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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