To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
