My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
