When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize