so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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