Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
