Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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