Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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