erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
