he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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