Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
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I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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