That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
