i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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