all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
