becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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