Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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