Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
