we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
