I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
