You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
