And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
