is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I can't turn off my feet"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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