I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
