I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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