Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
