3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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