I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
