smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
