this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I need a beard to bite.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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