She announced her abortion via fbk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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