i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
