Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize