she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
