Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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